Living in Beijing: useful stuff

As I start to see the end of my time in Beijing approaching (still a fair way away yet!), I'm thinking of what things I would have liked to have known at the start, and also of how I can make all this knowledge about the city I've accumulated somehow useful to other people. 

So this is a list of stuff that is useful.

Touristing stuff:

• It's easy to see all the main touristy things like the Forbidden City, Summer Palace and the temples by bus or subway. I'd suggest either get yourself a good guidebook (not lonely planet, which is only useful for practical information) or look out through your connections for some kind of local (e.g. a language partner) who will take you there.
• Getting the Great Wall is a bit of a challenge by yourself, because it's a fair way out of Beijing. You could hire a driver or there's a bus-taxi method (in lonely planet) but I'd strongly recommend going with a tour group. If you like walking/hiking, I strongly recommend Beijing Hikers. Alternatively, I've heard the China Culture Centre does good tours. I would be wary of the random internet tour companies you might come across, especially if their English is not good. One other thing: avoid the Badaling area at all costs! You can hardly move for the tourists, and there are so many other amazing places to go. 
• Good places to go for weekend trips are (in order of preference): Shanghai, Qingdao, Chengde, Datong, Pingyao, and Tianjin, among many others (keep an eye on the expat mags for suggestions). You can also get to a huge number of places in China within a short flight, but it's probably going to be expensive.

Stuff to do around town that's not (too) touristy:

• I love cooking, and I knew almost nothing about cooking Chinese food when I came here. It's also a very practical skill for living in Beijing, as it can be quite difficult to cook food you normally eat at home for a variety of reasons (see below). So I've been to about a dozen classes at The Hutong. I thoroughly recommend any of their classes (make sure you get the membership on your first visit!)—check out this post for a taster. Black Sesame also does cooking classes, but I have never been to any of them.
• Check out all the green spaces in Beijing, especially during summer. There are loads of cool parks around the place where you'll laugh at the old people doing Tai Chi or Qi Gong in the morning, smile at the kiddies playing in the daytime or enjoy the music and dancing in the evening. The more time I spend here, the more I find myself wondering why we don't get together to dance or sing in public spaces at home, although it seemed so ridiculous to me when I arrived. I recommend Ritan Park or Temple of the Earth Park, but seriously any of them will do.
• Check out Houhai lake. It's a full of people most of the time (doing Tai Chi or just walking), but is definitely worth the visit. You can also grab a drink at one of the bazillion cafe/bars.
• If you like hiking, go with Beijing Hikers on any of their trips. They're all pretty great. There's also a local hiking group called Beijing Walkers (or Wallkers, depending on who you listen to), which goes for hikes every Sunday, but you have to know someone to get on the email list. If you do, jump on it, because the hikes are great and a lot cheaper than paying a tour company. Make sure you sign up as soon as the email comes out and be prepared for a hike that's on the difficult side.
• Go to any of the cool new hip and trendy restaurants that are opening all the time. To find out what's cool and hip, check out the expat mags (see below).
• Try out dragon boating. There's an expat-friendly club that trains on Houhai on Sunday afternoons at about 4.30pm—they're very chilled and you definitely don't need to be fit or have any skills in dragon boating to participate. It's a good way to meet people and get some exercise, but be prepared to be very sore the next day!
• Check out the streets of Nanluoguxiang, Guloudong dajie and Wudaoying Hutong for boutique clothes shopping, funky gifts, cool bars and cafes. I spent a large part of my life walking around these streets.
• Cycle through the hutongs south of Yonghegong, Andingmen and Gulou stations. It's one of the most fun, relaxing and cultural things you can do in Beijing.

Internet stuff:

• Before I launch into what's available on the web, I'll say this: Get a VPN before you come here if you can. You'll be amazed at how many websites you use regularly are not available at all (e.g. facebook/twitter, news sites), or at least not available consistently (google products). I suggest Strong VPN, which is reliable and trustworthy, with great tech support. Make sure you get one that is compatible with your phone, as well!
• 
  By far the best source for information about what's going on around town is the expat magazines. Timeout and The Beijinger are the best. Pick one up at any of the expat type cafes around town or check out their websites, which have loads and loads of information.
• For blogs, I like to follow The China Story, Danwei, and Lost Laowai when I have the time. There are plenty of others, plus all the major international news services generally have good China blogs.
• As I've mentioned in earlier posts, I like to listen to the China History Podcast and Sinica for China-related stuff.

Living stuff:

• Language training is a must in Beijing. Of course, there are millions of people who tour through the city without Chinese, but it's actually quite difficult to get around without at least a few words. Far fewer people speak English than you might assume. Plus, Chinese is fun to study after the first uphill battle with sounds and characters. If you ask me, you need to study both characters and pinyin, but that's just my preference because I'm a visual learner and I like to be able to read signs. Most people do one-on-one classes or intensive group classes. I can recommend Rose Finch (although it's quite expensive), or my friends have also recommended The Hutong School.
• Groceries. I've mentioned this in earlier posts, but it can be quite difficult and expensive to get ingredients for foreign foods. It's not just that you can't get your favourite brand of crackers or some vegemite, it's that you can't buy breakfast cereal, or bread that's not sweetened, or cheese. Chinese supermarkets (Merry Mart, Dia, Wumart, etc) can be very confronting and uncomfortable, or loads of fun, depending on your outlook. If you can't cope, which has been me for a large portion of my time here, there are western or semi-western supermarkets around. Look for BHG, Jenny Lou's or April Gourmet in the expat districts (largely in Chaoyang). Expect to pay the same price at home for anything that's imported.
• How do you know which bus or subway to catch? Plug it into google maps on your phone. Seriously, I couldn't live without google maps. Just tell google maps where you want to go, select public transport, and you're away. It has all the bus and train routes already plugged in.
• Public transport doesn't run after 10.30-11pm ish. Catch a taxi, if you can get one. I could go on a rant about cabs, but I won't. Suffice to say the cabs are hard to pull over (particularly at night) and the drivers are mean, and they definitely don't speak English. Remind yourself they treat everyone the same way, including Chinese locals.
• Electricity and gas super cheap and is usually paid with a card that you take to the bank. Now, the only way of doing this is with a Chinese bank account card, but if you smile sweetly enough, the staff will do it for you.
• Re. finding a place to live, this is mostly done through agents (you generally pay them a fee of one month's rent, up front, for this privilege). Check out the classifieds on The Beijinger for recommendations and for rooms available.
• Clothes shopping is not as cheap as you might think. Anything you could get at home is the same price as at home, unless you're at a market. I suggest visiting Yaxiu (Yashow) Markets or the Beijing Zoo Market. Be prepared to bargain hard (starting at 1/10th their asking price is a good idea) and to have to push through swathes of people.
• Buy a bike! Seriously, it's so much fun cycling in Beijing. I wouldn't pay more than about RMB 300 for a reasonable, if clunky, second-hand bike. If it breaks down, there are plenty of shops in the hutongs that fix them quickly and cheaply. Buy a helmet from one of the expat areas (or, even better, bring it from home) because, even if nobody else wears them, you're an idiot if you think your brain is safe in Beijing traffic.

Wow that was a huge brain dump! I'm sure there's more useful stuff I could provide, but that's the bones of it. Hope it's useful to someone, and if you need more info, feel free to comment!

Two days without email

On Wednesday I went out with my work colleagues for a Mid-Autumn Festival lunch (apparently mid-autumn is worth not only a few days' holiday, but a free lunch, too!). Afterwards, I was drowning in post-feeding fatigue, and suggested to my friend at work that we go and grab a coffee at Starbucks. I'll have you know Starbucks is almost the only option for takeaway coffee in most of Beijing, lest you think I would actually choose Starbucks coffee of my own volition. Anyway, my colleague, being Chinese, is not really a fan of coffee, so I'm a bit surprised she has accepted my polite invitation. 

Soon, I find out why. She wants to talk about her personal life. She's having some issues with her husband, who is currently in the USA with work. My colleague has seemed a bit quiet all day, and now I'm starting to find out what's the problem. She asked him to email her every day while he was away, she says, otherwise she might get worried about him. And he promised he would. Two days went by without an email (which, she says, she didn't even really notice because she herself has been busy), and she suddenly realised he hasn't kept his promise. She started to get annoyed that she hadn't heard from him. So, she wrote him a nasty email saying she was hurt by his actions, or lack of actions as it appears. He wrote back saying he was tired, very busy, had taken on someone else's job in addition to his own because his colleague is incompetent. She wrote back with more nasty words, and then a few days later logged on to his email account (why does she have access to it?) and saw he hadn't even opened her most recent emails. How to exact revenge on this horrendous crime? She changed his email password, the same one he uses for business communications. 

I always wonder in this situations whether you're supposed to coo and soothe the girl, or whether you should give her the straightforward opinion that is forming on your tongue. But at this point, I can't help but exclaim how ridiculously childish her actions are. She admits she knows this, but can't help herself. She's an only child and is used to getting her way. Her husband has an older sister (the one child policy actually only covers about half of Chinese families—fodder for another post!), so he's used to sharing things, sharing a person's attention, and sharing his email account, perhaps? 

She changed his password back after a few days of making him stew over it. Then, realising she was a bit grumpy with him, he tried to call her 20 times in one morning, from the other side of the world. She didn't answer, and still won't talk to him.

She says she thinks they are not suited to each other. They come from different backgrounds. Her father is rich and has nought to spend his money on except for his darling little girl. Her husband's parents are not so well off, and he doesn't like the idea of her father paying for everything, including their house. Actually, he doesn't like to talk about money at all, in complete contradiction to most of his Chinese mates. She can't understand why. She thinks you have to be practical about these things, and the reality is that money is all that matters in China these days. Money, and family. She doesn't like to cook or clean and feels like she's not a 'good wife' to her husband, but she still needs his undivided attention at every point, otherwise she feels lost. If they were not married, she says, they would certainly have split up. She doesn't want to divorce him because it would hurt her parents.

There's more to it, obviously. You can't summarise the complexities of a marriage in one conversation at Starbucks. Still, I can't help but wonder how much of this is common across China, a nation of single child families, of strong family ties, of vastly unequal gender expectations, and of marriages that must last forever. Throughout the conversation, in response to my wide-eyed surprise at her actions and feelings, my colleague conceded this must be hard for me to understand because of cultural difference. 

But the lesson I'm taking away is: you men at home (you know who you are), when you think your girlfriends or wives are being too needy, should spare a thought for the poor Chinese man whose wife may divorce him because he was too busy to email her every day.

:)